Test Day: A summary!

Hi everyone!

I intended to post this right after the exam, but wow – time has flown! It feels like I took it last week. And soon, we’ll be receiving our results! That said, ... 

Hoping not to jinx myself too much, I thought I’d share my (eeee – good!) “Day Of” experience with everyone since the “Days Prior” posts were so ample and anxiety-ridden along the way!  Let’s start with the night before.  I had a quiet night, only flipping through my plump prep binder for about 45 minutes. My husband made me dinner and I went to bed early. I had packed everything the previous night so I wasn't stressed about that part in the morning.  I stashed my snacks and water in the fridge and I made sure my outfit was ready, too!  I wanted to wake up the next morning with as few tasks as possible.  And in the nerdiest/coolest twist: I wore my Steelers sweatshirt.  

I woke up to sunshine and nearly ZERO worries. I actually got teary on my drive because I felt so confident, calm, and yet still excited, three emotions which were foreign to me during this entire (and past) experience. I arrived early, walked the wrong way, walked the right way. 

The building in which the test was held was fairly new and so open, bright, and the temperature was perfect. I was assigned what I call "The best seat in the room!" because I was right next to a column along the wall. The column was an exposed I-Beam painted red and had a perfect little "shelf" for my water bottle (which isn't allowed on our table due to potential spilling). I found I needed to drink throughout the test, so this was a life-saver. (Even though they say you're not allowed, most proctors will allow it under your desk). 

I felt super calm and confident during the test, though I made an almost irreversible mistake in Lighting (But luckily caught it and fixed it). I took Lighting first, then Space Planning. Due to my snafu, this was a REALLY good choice because I didn't panic.  Staying focused was much easier with my seat being against the wall rather than in the center of the room, but sadly this cannot be helped. 

Unfortunately, but legally / fairly / confidentially, I will not be sharing any specific details and I won't be sharing which exercises were commercial/residential. This is not only something I signed off on - it's completely unfair to those purchasing the practice tests. 

Anyhoo! I had lunch with some great ladies in the lobby (sitting on some fab Maharam-upholstered lounge furniture) and some had even been following this blog!  (Thanks, gals! I hope you all do well!) The second half of the exam went very well.  I even finished early! And that included ample checking on all sections. 

I left feeling really happy, confident, and relieved.  A few days later, I started to think "Where could I have gone wrong?" And nit-picky, nagging thoughts set in. However, I had to accept that no matter how I did, I couldn't change it. And that thought squished any doubts quickly. 

I arrived home to these wonderful surprises from  my supportive hubby:

Ironically, I ended the day in a beautiful mood, accepting and happy regardless of what's to come and my exact words at bedtime were "Best day ever!" (a common phrase of mine... I suppose I have a lot of those.)

I've been feeling relieved, but anxious of course for my results.  They could come any day now, but as with last time... I will have Andrew open them for me! 

xo,

Carolyn

Transition time...

... Less prep, more nature. It's officially the ONE WEEK mark! 

{ Part 1: Butterflies and Swimming }

I've found a calming way to nearly eliminate my test anxiety and after practicing it for about 3 weeks, I can confidently say it has healed me! Remember what I said in this post about test anxiety being a habit? Well, to break a bad habit, we must replace it with a good one. Can't quite shake it completely? Begin by following a negative feeling with a positive thought. 

I've been getting random bouts of butterflies in my stomach (nerves, anxiety, surges of bad energy). I thought back to my days as a competitive swimmer. I got butterflies before every race and they were GOOD butterflies. And another thing? Whether I won or not, I would kick some serious booty and usually improve my time. Silly worry. 

Every time I get butterflies, I think of my swim meets. And the memory makes me smile. I find these butterflies to be a surge of strength and happiness now instead of doubt and fear. 

{ Part 2: Swimming and Test Prep }

Because my connection to swimming helped so much with my test anxiety, I've adapted my test prep plan to mimic my pre-championship meet training schedule (which always yielded best times and great swims!). 

Before a big meet, we'd train hard for months (with the hairiest man legs you've ever seen) and taper down two weeks before the meet. I'm entering my "taper week" and doing a lot more relaxing, exercising, and spending time with family/friends/nature. 

Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming,
Carolyn

10 Ways to Relieve Test Anxiety: Weeks Before

1. Identify good and bad inner voices by trying The Angel vs. Devil Exercise.
2. When you find you're having a negative thought, immediately replace it with a positive or comforting one. What if I fail? WHAT IF YOU DON'T?!
3. Cry when you need to along the way. Nothing releases stress and anxiety like a good cry. Embrace your vulnerability. Just like pain is weakness leaving the body, tears are weakness exiting via your eyes. So you're in your late 20's, early 30's, late 30's, early 40's, late 40's, early 50's and so on? Just let your inner-toddler do her thing. And cry. Just, er - do so before the test day. Not on the test day (cough, cough... not that I did that or anything).
4. Seek support from friends and family. Accept it rather than inserting excuses or negativity to counter their truths. No one can encourage us like our most treasured people. Thank them for it and return the support when they need it. 
5. Seek support from yourself. Practice telling yourself how capable you are and how far you've come. Reiterate facts you've remembered. Anxiety is a learned behavior. So is self-esteem. And you're in control.
6. PRACTICE. I will tell you one thing, not doing this is a sure-fire way to reach both test anxiety and probable failure. And let me tell you from experience: a FAIL in the mail is a crap start to summer.
7. #6 again.
8. #6 and #7.
9. Exercise. A healthy physical body enhances a learning mind. Ever hear of endorphins? They're no joke. Endorphins are positive, evoke happiness, and most certainly confidence. Go for a run and let your body's complex chemistry be on your side.
10. See every mistake as an opportunity to grow rather than a setback or flaw. I mean it!
11. Bonus tip: 21. Well, sure think back to when you were finally able to drink. But also, 6 + 7 + 8 = 21. Practice + Practice + Practice = confidence & skill!!

Everything is beautiful!!!

As I was signing this post, I suddenly remembered some wonderful ways my friends see me.  For instance, my coworkers call me "Snow" as in Snow White because I see the positive often and I'm, for the most part, a happy person (obviously, I can also be not happy!). Would "Snow" be scared of the NCIDQ Practicum or would she reason that it is a positive achievement! My mom and others describe me as "Real" and "Inspirational". I've sometimes been self-conscious about putting it all out there on this blog, but I admire people who put it out there and keep it real. 

This DIY Couple (I'm a super-fan) always keeps it real!

And so does this modern-day Ethel Merman!

And last but not least, this sweet, southern beauty guru who keeps it real by appreciating the small things, struggles and all. 

Love and happy thoughts,

Carolyn

Angel vs. Devil Exercise: Conquering Test Anxiety

As I mention in just about every post, I'm struggling with a poisonous habit I've formed known as test anxiety. I'm still guilty of letting it cloud my mind, drain my energy, and squash my focus. I did some research on test anxiety and found several causes, but the solutions didn't resonate with me. I wanted to know what caused ME personally to doubt myself, freeze, and cry mid-practice test. So in my latest in-home-with-patient-husband therapy session, I voiced a little exercise.

I did some soul-searching and identified a list of things the devil keeps telling me as well as a list of angelic encouragements. Just recognizing what thoughts were not only poisonous, but sadly repetitive, really helped me to find solutions and positive words.

{ We'll start with Ms. Devil }

• You failed this last year. And you could fail it again this year.
• I bet your classmates in design school would think it's pretty funny that you failed. (Ok, me.. really?)
• Doesn't it suck thinking back on the parts of the test during which you couldn't breathe? When you were shaking? 
• Wouldn't that be so ironic if you put your heart and soul into studying and made this encouraging blog and then FAILED???
• This test is super expensive. Do you want to pay for it again?!
• Wouldn't that suck if you forget everything you learned come test day?
• Relentless stomach pains.
• I think you should keep picturing the location you took the test in last year. Remember how unprepared you were?
• My personal favorite: "Oh, you'll be fine." As if I'm not allowed to be a little scared and this is getting me to shut up already. 
• When someone says: "Calm down."
• 10. Long. Hours.
• Countdown!!!
• Heh. Remember that time you were unemployed?
• Text anxiety - drama queen much?!

{ And Ms. Angel }

• You went to a CIDA-accredited university and graduated at the top of your design class. Your resume isn't bad either. Even when you were unemployed, you started your own design business. 
• You passed the LEED CI test. The first time. On your birthday.
• You passed the first two sections of the NCIDQ without the special Part 1 and Part 2 Ballast books. 
• You were a swimmer for 12 years for crying out loud! You survived BOB!
• This blog you started is such a good thing. For you. For others. So what if you don't pass and you wrote this blog? Blog about it! But you will pass, so blog about THAT!
• You are a talented designer with solid and varied experience. 
• You're capability level is only growing.
• If you go in with the mindset that you're going to pass, you WILL.
• So what if you fail? Take it again. It won't be the worst thing in life you'll experience.
• You've prepared so diligently this time around. Just think of how you rocked the lighting exercise and just last year you failed it?
• Same with Egress. And Life Safety. Aren't you much more confident now?!
• No matter where the test is, you have all the supplies you need this time around.
• You are already starting off better by making sure you EAT that day!
• So many people believe in you.
• Prayer will give you strength. 
• Remember the triumphs you've experienced along the way.
• Remember the candidates who are where you are or have been there. You're not alone .
• Never underestimate the power of closing your eyes and taking 10 slow, deep breaths.

I encourage anyone who suffers from this learned habit (nope, not a mental disability, illness, or innate behavior - you're in control!) to use this exercise. Write down your "dark & twisty" (yeah, Grey's Anatomy shout-out!) thoughts and then write down the happy, encouraging thoughts you don't think nearly enough.

I'm thinkin' we're all truly underestimating the strength and focus that comes from simply thinking positively.

I know you don't think so, but YOU CAN,

Carolyn

PS. A note of encouragement from my gentle, compassionate, and sweet mother: 

Harden the F*#% up! 

Nature Break

A very wise friend and I like to have fully charged batteries (I'm lookin' at you, Steph!). To charge my battery, I seek encouraging and uplifting people, fresh air, and a sense of accomplishment in each day. Yesterday, going outside to play for a few hours in the sunshine with my husband was just what I needed to make this weekend be what I looked forward to all week long...

Happy Trails,

Carolyn