Before I put pen(cil) to vellum, I'm making a list of lessons learned and paving the way for serious improvement. I knew before I woke up that morning (March 31, 2012) that I was completely unprepared. Mentally AND physically. Let's not re-live this nightmare on April 6.
This post will be followed by a shorter, but necessary "Where I Went Right" post.
1. The testing location changed.
It was scheduled to be in Drexel University's pretty design studio with smooth drafting tables, bright lighting, a clock on the wall, and Au Bon Pain nearby in 30th Street Station. I received an email on Monday night before the test stating that it was moved to a hotel in <still have no clue what part of the city>. Had I actually read my email that day instead of on Friday night, I might have been able to buy a portable drafting table and prepare myself mentally for a change of scenery. But I didn't. I still get sweaty palms when I even see a hotel conference room. The tables were bumpy plastic folding tables with black table cloths. The lighting was awful. The carpet was too busy. And we could hear people talking in the hallway. Oh, and it was cold because hotels turn the AC on in March!
Lesson learned: Read emails thoroughly when you've invested $600 in a test. Buy portable drafting table even if you'll never use it again. Be adaptable. Be able to take this test on the shoulder of the turnpike with your supplies.
2. I didn't bring a watch, assuming there would be a clock on the wall.
Seriously? Who does this? Someone who didn't read their email and thought there would be a clock in the well-equipped Drexel studio like there was for the multiple choice portions. Someone who would think there should be a clock in a hotel conference room!? We received the 30-minute warning and I hadn't a) finished space planning nor b) started lighting. I failed lighting.
Lesson learned: Do not rely on your surroundings to have a clock or anything else on the list. Be responsible for yourself. Take some darn initiative. You're an adult. (Me yelling at me.)
Lesson learned: Hotel gift shops have cheap $10 "gold" watches. $10 does NOT get you a battery included. Hotel gift shops do NOT sell watch batteries.
3. Eat breakfast. Bring lunch.
Seems logical, right? Except I was so fixated on the location change and not getting lost that I gave myself a ton of extra time to get there. Once I was there, there was nothing around. See a pattern with that first mistake? I was so freaked out in the car that I was literally sick to my stomach. So I didn't eat. I felt so weak during my test. Everything in my body was tense and achey. This is basic logic here. This is like stuff you learn in pre-school. And 4th, 7th, and 11th grades. And when you were a student athlete. And life, in general.
Lesson learned: Don't count on there being Au Bon Pain around the corner. Hit Wawa the night before. Apple slices, eggs, almonds, banana, gatorade, power bar. Brain food. Pack lunch and provide your own fuel!
4. I got caught up in PERFECT.
I borrowed about 38 of my dad's furniture templates so my chairs, tables, circles, and urinals would be flawless. I painstakingly scaled every room to the inch to meet the square-footage requirements EXACTLY. Let's just say this was a massive waste of time. I sketch chairs every single day at work. I know what 1/4" and 1/8" scale looks like by sight. I'm capable and I don't need fancy crutches in the form of office chair templates. It was a residential space planning exercise anyway. Go figure.
Lesson learned: The most "beautiful" and size-accurate tests aren't the ones that pass. The most "thorough" and logical tests pass. As long as you have 30x48 clear space at the urinal, it can be a little free-hand crooked. Focus on the big picture and loosen up a little.
5. I hate pencils. And I like drafting dots.
So why did I use fancy drafting pencils and why did I bring drafting tape? My drawings were ugly, smudgy, and my penmanship was hideous because I never use pencil in real design life/work. This was insanely distracting during the test. I was repeatedly ripping tape, smudging my pencil lines, erasing ugly words, and re-writing them. What time wasters!
Lesson learned: Read the test prep guidelines. You can use pen (yayyyy!!!). You can use white-out tape. I'm buying drafting dots even though Dad thinks they're dumb. Because I'm different than him and they work for me. And it's the little things.
6. I was focusing on everyone else in a fit of anxiety-fueled, temporary ADHD.
I kept looking around at everyone else. My friend Laurel was there. And she was pregnant and I was all "Aw, that's sweet. She has a baby keeping her company over there." There was this girl who was taking the test for the FOURTH time. I kept glancing over like "Omg, I hope for her bank account's sake and her sanity she passes!" And there were these two ladies in front of me who were all like "We have every gadget and we're prepared and perfect and we have good posture and we wear glasses." (Who's laughing now? The perfect patties who probably passed, that's who.)
Lesson learned: Be prepared and confident so you don't insecurely judge everyone around you. This is your test day. It's theirs, too. But to you, it's only YOURS so focus on you.
7. Believe in yourself.
I didn't do this.
Lesson learned: You is kind. You is smart. You is important.
This post has been one of the most clarifying and freeing posts I've ever written. I like to think admitting my faults and identifying room to heal and grow will take me far.
Love, Humility, and Encouragement,
Carolyn
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